Long distance relationship blues

Some thoughts from a time during a long distance relationship

Long distance relationship blues
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My heart it aches and my mind it cries,
My shoes don't fit and I sleepless lie,
And I miss your hair and the shape of your face,
As each small problem causes my mind to race

And it longs for you and the weight of gravity that brings me through,
Back to earth and away from my mind,
From the curve of your back and the small of your thighs, my mind can't hide,
And my distance belies the weight of our distance upon my mind

I see you everywhere I go, in the shower, and my bed you know,
When I wake up I think I know that you are beside me but no,
My mind it lies and the cold sheets bely my mind's lies,
You're  not here, the fact my mind tries to hide

And I live in a dream that is not mirrored in reality,
And is this healthy and how it's meant to be,
And am I not again in my head,
From where you try to drag me,
And as I hang on for the next time,
I think am I not subjecting myself to unusual torture of the mind

Every time it has become harder,
As we become closer and the chasm looms larger,
And fortnight to safe harbour,
Seems so far

Memories fade,
And I relate that you're out tonight and I lie awake and I wish I could be by your side,
But our lives run asynchronously,
And that is a difficult lesson,
And I tire of text chats and pigeon typed messages and I grow increasingly frustrated,
I can't express myself and I want to throw my phone at a wall,
I can't make myself understood and I feel hollow

Because sometimes I can't cope with general life,
My coping mechanisms are subpar and I turn my phone off and hide,
Bar my door, descend into mood and try and cope,
And you can't see me and you can't know,
And it's not fair to treat you that way I know,
But if you were here you might understand and know,
That I still love you,
And I don't want to go,
And I want to cry and I want to scream,
I want to wake up from this macabre dream